He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I did not marry a roomba.
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