Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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