My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
