He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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