if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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