The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
