I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.