party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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