peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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