our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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