I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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