so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
