Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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