They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
