I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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