Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Randomize
