this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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