He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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