I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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