I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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