I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
