if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
