now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize