I am in a vortex of obligation.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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