I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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