I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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