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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
