just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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