i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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