just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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