I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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