you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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