I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
