i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
