No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
