Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
