Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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