you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
