Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
