I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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