who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I think my moral compass just broke
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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