I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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