the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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