no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
