I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
