my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
