i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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