It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
worst night to have a conscience
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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