Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
