hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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