PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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