I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
