I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You dont lie about slip and slides
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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