I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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