I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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