No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
