I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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