sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize