I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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