My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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