so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Michael Bay diarrhea
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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