Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
