I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize